Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
33412 comments
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 10:20
posted by jordans
Thank you for your whole labor on this blog. Gloria takes pleasure in doing internet research and it is easy to see why. We all learn all concerning the lively medium you offer informative steps through this web blog and encourage contribution from website visitors on this point then our girl is without a doubt starting to learn a great deal. Have fun with the rest of the new year. You have been conducting a fabulous job.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 09:41
posted by Ebbewrarf
cialis with out a prescription cialis generic 10 mg https://dccialisxvf.com/
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 08:44
posted by kevin durant shoes
I intended to create you the little bit of note in order to thank you so much yet again about the lovely concepts you've featured in this case. It was seriously open-handed with you to convey without restraint what a few individuals would've advertised for an e book to earn some profit for their own end, most notably now that you could have tried it if you desired. Those secrets in addition acted as the great way to be sure that other people online have a similar desire similar to mine to grasp a good deal more concerning this problem. Certainly there are some more enjoyable periods ahead for many who scan through your website.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 05:42
posted by golden goose shoes
I wanted to jot down a word so as to say thanks to you for some of the fabulous ways you are giving out at this site. My extended internet research has at the end of the day been compensated with reliable tips to go over with my great friends. I would admit that we visitors are really blessed to exist in a useful place with so many special individuals with great advice. I feel rather lucky to have seen the website page and look forward to tons of more thrilling minutes reading here. Thanks once again for a lot of things.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 04:53
posted by golden goose outlet
I wish to show appreciation to this writer just for bailing me out of such a circumstance. Because of surfing around throughout the online world and coming across notions that were not powerful, I thought my entire life was done. Existing without the strategies to the difficulties you have resolved as a result of your entire site is a crucial case, as well as ones that might have in a negative way affected my career if I hadn't encountered your web page. Your own personal talents and kindness in handling all areas was important. I'm not sure what I would've done if I hadn't discovered such a point like this. I can also at this time relish my future. Thanks so much for your impressive and results-oriented guide. I won't think twice to endorse your blog post to any person who needs support on this issue.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 01:48
posted by lebron shoes
I enjoy you because of every one of your work on this website. My daughter delights in doing internet research and it's simple to grasp why. My partner and i know all relating to the dynamic tactic you offer valuable guides via the blog and therefore boost response from some other people on this idea plus our favorite girl is undoubtedly learning a lot. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You're doing a glorious job.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 01:33
posted by supreme hoodie
I have to show my appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from this particular setting. Just after surfing through the world-wide-web and obtaining thoughts that were not productive, I thought my entire life was well over. Living devoid of the strategies to the issues you have fixed through the write-up is a critical case, as well as those that might have adversely affected my entire career if I had not discovered your blog. The natural talent and kindness in touching the whole lot was invaluable. I am not sure what I would've done if I hadn't discovered such a stuff like this. I am able to at this time look forward to my future. Thanks a lot very much for the skilled and result oriented guide. I will not be reluctant to propose your web page to any individual who wants and needs counselling on this situation.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 01:32
posted by jordan shoes
I simply needed to thank you very much once more. I am not sure the things I could possibly have gone through in the absence of the type of creative ideas documented by you on such theme. Certainly was an absolute fearsome difficulty for me personally, however , seeing a skilled tactic you managed that took me to weep over contentment. Extremely grateful for this advice and wish you realize what an amazing job you were accomplishing instructing many others with the aid of your web site. Most probably you haven't met any of us.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 00:58
posted by off white
My husband and i felt lucky John managed to carry out his inquiry through the entire precious recommendations he got when using the site. It is now and again perplexing to just always be giving away helpful hints which some other people could have been making money from. And now we acknowledge we have the blog owner to give thanks to because of that. All of the illustrations you made, the straightforward site menu, the relationships you can make it easier to instill - it's got mostly exceptional, and it's really making our son in addition to us understand the content is satisfying, which is especially fundamental. Thank you for all the pieces!
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 04 May 2022 00:45
posted by golden goose outlet
I enjoy you because of your whole efforts on this web site. Gloria really likes making time for investigation and it's easy to understand why. Almost all know all relating to the compelling way you produce very helpful thoughts via your blog and as well invigorate contribution from other people about this situation so our child has been becoming educated so much. Have fun with the remaining portion of the year. Your doing a brilliant job.
Leave a comment
Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.